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You're being shit on, used, ignored and it's very likely that you're being set up. You already know that and somehow you've decided that you aren't being given s on what to do? Oh for shit sake you're living that old joke about the trapped on the roof in a flood saying God save him you know the one where he passes up a ride, a boat and a helicopter and asks God when he gets to heaven why he didn't save him? Just because the message is your marriage is over doesn't mean it's not being given. I'm going to give you an opinion, a personal one that's one of my strongest convictions.
Spirituality is not supposed to be about getting rewarded for being the kind of person you think God, the universe, Buddha or whatever says you should be. You give it away in your last paragraph where you claim to be sure you could rebuild this marriage and make it even better if she would just play along. I know that wish a LOT of people know that wish but that's all it is.
You asked, she passed, you got your answer. So what is God supposed to do? File divorce papers for you? Balance your assets? Or do you think he's supposed to make her the light? Your decisions to keep hanging on and allowing yourself to be some martyr isn't following guidance it's ignoring reality because it doesn't fit your perception of how life is supposed to work. You're not getting a direction because you won't pick the one that's available you've decided to go kicking and screaming.
If you don't have that divorce decree filed and I mean the suit has been filed and it's an active file you're allowing yourself to be in a position that when you think you can move out you are open to losing that money. There are options out there, you not like them but they are available.
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