How to get through the pain of a breakup

Added: Shanetta Haralson - Date: 30.11.2021 13:31 - Views: 20138 - Clicks: 4126

Some breakups are so bad that they make you hate the sunshine. The suffering is relentless. The sky is ugly. The ending of my last relationship was awful. I know her family. I had a business relationship with her and we had been performing together as part of a musical group.

I once read that the pain of the death of a loved one, the pain of the end of a relationship, and the pain of losing a teddy bear are no different. Pain is pain. And to the one who experiences pain, it can be all consuming and can seem like the end of the world. Again, pain is pain. No one has the right to judge itput limits on it, or qualify it.

So, what do you do? I do know that when all of the flirting, smiling, hand-holding, and special times on the couch are over, somehow you have to find a way to put the pieces of yourself back together. I think the way to do this is different for everyone. Far more than a Buddhist concept, detachment gives us the ability to move forward. I needed someone to talk to and someone to check in with. Sometimes, I make up awful stories in my head and I need someone to help me counter them.

There are many different modalities out there. Try them all if you want to.

Yes, it seems so simple, but I started walking more. Walking is a great way to get active instead of dwelling in your memories and replaying the ones that hurt. Walking clears the mind. So much has been said about mindfulness and present moment awareness.

The Internet is full of great resources, and there are probably free meditation groups near you. Even Obi-Won Kenobi recommended this. You can begin with one conscious breathe in this one moment, which is all you ever have. Take some time and feel the breath flowing through you, the rise and fall, the slightest pause. This might seem like the opposite of mindfulness, and maybe it is. Sometimes though, self-medicating with Netflix is okay. I blew through all of Firefly and both seasons of The Walking Dead. This is guerrilla warfare of the heart.

We do what we must to survive. Just like a vacation can give us a new perspective on our work, a break from thinking can help us to look at a situation with new eyes. I binged on books. I admit it. I read books on Buddhism, and Taoism, and Stoicism, all kinds of self-help books. Something about this felt proactive. It was like I was doing homework, like I was taking control of the process, doing all I could to help myself feel better. Writing has always been helpful to me.

Some of them are really good. Adele turned the painful ending of a relationship into an album. Go listen to Rolling in the Deep. But I hope you get something out of this list or even become inspired to create your own. Be gentle with yourself; rest if you need to. It takes as long as it takes. Remember, we are all the same at our core. Everyone wants to be happy and no one wants to suffer. Break-up image via Shutterstock. James Gummer has no idea what's going on and is learning to be okay with that. He writes in Baltimore, Maryland where he also teaches drumming, qigong, and meditation.

His collection of essays will be available soon. Visit him at james-writes. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is deed to support, How to get through the pain of a breakup replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. Before using the site, please read our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.

Click to opt-out of Google Analytics tracking. Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. Detachment Far more than a Buddhist concept, detachment gives us the ability to move forward. Walking Yes, it seems so simple, but I started walking more.

Mindfulness So much has been said about mindfulness and present moment awareness.

You can always begin again. Distraction This might seem like the opposite of mindfulness, and maybe it is. Reading I binged on books. Creative Expression Writing has always been helpful to me. About James Gummer James Gummer has no idea what's going on and is learning to be okay with that. Web More Posts. See a typo or inaccuracy?

Please so we can fix it! Did you enjoy this post? Please share the wisdom :. Giveaway and Interview: The Mindful Manifesto.

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How to get through the pain of a breakup

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How to Get Over a Painful Breakup